It's Just A Phase ...Don't Miss It Week #3

It's Just a Phase...Don't Miss It Week #3

 

 

As a parent you are not the only influence of the needs of your child. A church has the potential to connect your son or daughter to a leader who believes in their future like you do.
Every child is looking for a "tribe" outside of their family where they can find a place to belong. They will eventually find somewhere and someone on their own OR you can help them find a place that reflects your values and heart for their future.

 

If you are a Sunday School teacher, a Youth leader , neighbor or a friend of the family...BE LIKEABLE ! Discover their world. Know their culture. Consider watching their movies or the trailers. Read their books. Watch their TV shows. Follow their favorite celebrities. Listen to their music.

Lifetime educator Rita Pierson spoke at the TED conference to a room of educators to remind us all, "Kids don't learn from people they don't like."

 

Let's look at the culture. A child's culture changes the day they are born. CULTURE SCHOCK for everyone! Also when they become potty-trained, encounter discipline, enters elementary school, hit puberty, develop abstract thinking, enters high school, gets a drivers license and graduates from high school.

Don't assume you know what you don't know about their culture. For example; if you are a mother of a preschooler picking music for the sixth grade dance just may not be the job for you.

 

 

You will never know kids the way you need to know them if you don't take time to discover their world again and again. Show up where they show up; at ballgames, school plays and concerts. Look, listen and observe.Think of it as research.

Every phase of a child's life has unique cultural changes. Every phase presents new challenges when what is changing mentally and physically collides with what is changing culturally.

Relationships help resolve those challenges in a way that shapes their emotional and mental responses.

In the first 18 years of a life, kids are changing in six fundamental ways. Those changes affect how they think, learn, feel and relate. Research shows us that if we want to have influence, we have to understand what is changing physically, mentally, relationally, culturally, emotionally and morally.

 

 

Consider this; before we can lead someone where they need to go, we need to know where they are.

 

 

Kids! The more we know them, the more they will know they matter. They will believe they can win. They will feel that they belong. They will discern what they should do. If we don't now who we are talking to we can't really expect a listening ear. The better we understand who kids are now, the better they will understand who they are meant to be.

 

A look a week #4. Shaping character and faith is through small deposits in the KidBank. Investments, returns, rate of growth are financial words that we will use in a spiritual way.

 

www.ThinkOrange.com

www.JustAPhase.com

 

 



 













It's Just a Phase...Don't Miss It Week #2

It's Just A Phase...Don't Miss It Week #2

You can not rewind your kids life! You can't "Fall" back and get an extra hour. Truth!! However, you can pause at significant moments and celebrate what is happening while it is still happening. Let's take a look at the day in the life of a child and discover some new ways to connect in positive ways. Remember the basic principal of this series: if you don't miss out on your kid's life, then maybe your kid won't miss out on some important things about life.

Morning Time

Let's face it , most mornings are not always sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. Sometimes showing up and being part of the morning does not have to be in the physical or verbal forms. Truth be known, sometimes the less physical/verbal interaction the better.... I'm referring to middle and high school sweeties.

When you connect positively in the Morning Time, you can instill purpose and give fuel for their day.

Leaving written messages for all to see is a great way to be part of the morning madness. If you have multiple bathrooms then leave multiple messages. Here is one BIG OLE RULE !!! Do not write, please remember to flush!!!  

Drive Time

If you kept a record of how much time you spend with your kids each day in the car, it would become very clear that drive time is an excellent opportunity for sharing, discovery and investigation. If you car pool, kiddos are more likely to "spill the beans" as they discuss the days events. Take a drive time check up. How quickly do the earbuds go in the ears? How much of their day are they sharing? How much of your day do you share with them? Every now and again throw in an element of surprise. Pick a day when you can take a quick detour to get some ice cream or whatever the favorite treat is. Have a strategy of being part of the "ride." When you leverage Drive Time, you can interpret life during informal conversations as you travel.

Meal Time

Elementary kiddos love, love for visitors to show up at lunch time in the cafeteria. Lunch time with a table of First graders can be very enlightening. Observing your child in social situations with their peers can be an eye opener.

Bed Time

Bed time can be just as challenging as morning time. No matter if your child is three or thirteen, both need to end the day knowing they are valued and loved. Too many kids grow up and miss experiencing God's unconditional love and forgiveness. For that teenager that slams the bedroom door behind them, perhaps a note of affirmation slid under the door reminding them of their worth. For that toddler that simply refuses to end the day, perhaps a few minutes of relaxing music together in a comfy chair embracing when the child is yearning to know if they are safe and loved. Engage the imagination of the seven year old. Stories under the sheets with a flashlight is always popular.

When you pause at Bed Time, you strengthen your relationship through heart conversations.

The average educator will spend over 5,000 hours studying child development before they try to teach a class . That's a lot of homework.

A typical pediatrician will spend ten years and nearly half a million dollars so they can practice medicine with children. That's a big investment. 

The manufacturer of the top selling toy, Barbie, will spend an estimated $6000,000,000 a year to win the heart of a typical eight-year-old girl. That's a lot of ads.

The point is sometimes it takes a lot of time, effort and investment if you want to have influence with kids.

No one has the potential to influence your son or daughter like you. Do you feel the pressure?And it can be confusing. You are a mix of teacher, coach, counselor and friend. So here are some items to add to your job description:

1. EMBRACE the physical needs of your child developing security and confidence.

2. ENGAGE in their interests.

3. AFFIRM their personal journey, showing up consistently to give stability.

4. MOBILIZE the potential of your child, guiding and setting examples as they develop values and passions.

A peek at next week...Don't miss Sunday! Connect your kids to other caring adults who will treat them like they are made in the image of God. A church has the potential to connect your son or daughter to a caring leader who believes in their future like you do.

www.ThinkOrange.com

www.JustAPhase.com

It's Just A Phase...Don't Miss It Week #1

There is a clock that started ticking the day your child was born. In fact, there are less than a thousand weeks from the time a child is born until they graduate from High School.

As you count down the weeks you have remaining with your child, here are some general numbers to get started.

1 yr old > 884 weeks, 2 yr old > 832 weeks, 3 yr old >780 weeks, 4 yr old 728 weeks, 

5 yr old > 676 weeks, 6 yr old> 624 weeks, 7 yr old > 572 weeks, 8 yr old > 520 weeks

9 yr old > 468 weeks, 10 yr old >416 weeks, 11 yr old > 364 weeks, 12 yr old > 312 weeks

13 yr old > 260 weeks, 14 yr old > 208 weeks, 15 yr old > 156 weeks

16 yr old > 104 weeks, 17 yr old > 52 weeks 18 yr old > several weeks

EVERY WEEK MATTERS!

 Consider this: The amount of hours of each day a parent has to invest in their kids relationally, reduces drastically with every passing stage. 

You will spend at least 12 hours a day with a preschooler. 6 hours a day with elementary age kids. 4 hours a day with a middle schooler. 2 hours a day with a high schooler.

As you can see, the window of opportunity closes fast.

Let's take a look at parental influence opportunities each day and at each stage.

Preschoolers > 12 Hours > Morning Time, Drive Time, Meal Time, Bath Time, Cuddle Time.

Elementary > 6 Hours > Morning Time, Drive Time, Meal Time, Bed Time

Middle School > 4 Hours> Morning Time, Drive Time, Meal Time

High School > 2 Hours> Morning Time, Meal Time

At some time, each week the opportunity is there to show up and do life with your child.

The best way to shape a child's character + faith is through small consistent deposits. There is no such thing as instant return on faith or character. We keep so busy and never engage in "the parent work" that has lasting impact. We get so preoccupied with what we can measure that we don't give attention to what we can't measure. 

Truth is..you can't monitor emotional growth because it is gradual. That's why showing up each week matters. Keep investing in what you can't see. Being present for what you are not sure is happening, trusting that your investment will ultimately see a return.

If you want your child to grow up with a healthy sense of worth, direction, perspective, belonging, significance and connection, you need to be intentional about what you do over time.

Visualizing time can help you emotionally, mentally and practically, helping to prioritize what really matters. A countdown jar can make a difference. Consider this project.

Using 2 clear vessels fill one up with pennies, marbles or popcorn seeds representing the actual number of weeks you have left with your child. You will need a vessel for each child. Refer to the week chart at the top of this post . Then start a simple ritual: removing one object each week and depositing it into the second vessel. Over time, the practice of taking from one vessel and making deposits to another will remind you to value your time. It will reinforce a simple principle that when you see how much time you have left you tend to do more with the time you have.

Perhaps at the end of the week, a prayer of thanksgiving for the gift of family could happen as you move your objects and make deposits.

When the second vessel is full from the weekly deposits, share the process with your child in the form of a letter mentioning that the jar represents weekly morning times, meal times, drive times, bath times, cuddle times and attach it to the vessel. On the child's "leaving" day to wherever it may be, send it with them.

OR......take your CUE every week to stop, look and listen, making your time together with your kids count. Does this mean you have to make each second count? Or turn every minute into a teaching opportunity? NO! However, if you want to build a meaningful history with your kids, you have to be part of what happens during their week.

A peek at next week. >>>> We will explore how to create a weekly rhythm for your family to be intentional about shaping their future. When you connect positively in the Morning time, you can instill purpose and give fuel for their day. 

For digging deeper take a look at www.JustAPhase.com

Happy New Year

Celebrating!Having a party! Fun times and kiddos love them just as much as we adults do. In this post I have included many ideas to use in planning for young children who are hanging around waiting for the ball to drop in Times Square.  For instructions of all projects pictured here and more New Years celebration ideas take a look at my New Years/Epiphany Pinterest Board Link that is posted at the bottom of the page. Happy Planning! Happy Celebrating! Happy New Year!

Party Hats!  I love this paper bowl idea for the little ones.

Photo Both Props. This is one of my favorites. Super easy to create. Insert a party horn and you have the makings for great fun and really cute photos. Link is on the Pinterest Board listed below.

Use glow sticks for indoor/outdoor games.

Offer a craft table with easy, quick activities. Fireworks painting is always fun with toilet tissue rolls. Add a sprinkling of glitter before the paint dries.

Balloon drop. Tape off or tie a plastic tablecloth to the ceiling allowing it to sag so balloons can be placed inside. Hang streamers underneath for decoration.

Balloon pop count down.

Sparkler fun photos. The link for camera settings can be found on the Pinterest board posted at the bottom of this page.

Sparkler Safety. The solo cup works well for the little ones who want to enjoy sparkler fun.

Snow cabin making. Find some discounted gingerbread house making kits and turn them into snow cabins using different sizes of pretzels.







Family Time Capsule. Click HERE for the instructions.

For all of these activities and more, visit the NewYears /Epiphany  Pinterest Board

Click HERE to view the board.

Ring in the New year with prayer.

Dear God, thank you that it is the beginning of a new year. It is the beginning of an exciting new adventure. Give me courage and strength to do your will, because I can not do it alone. Thank you of  your promise to be with me and guide me everyday. Amen!















Advent! A Time of Service.

Advent. It is here! Below are some suggestions of ways to involve children in acts of service, acts of discipleship , helping to keep the focus on Jesus during this time of waiting.

There are many ways children can be taught to develop a servant's heart, a heart for those in need. Somewhere between the ages of 4-6 children are capable of imagining what it feels like to be in another's situation. 

There are many Acts of Kindness calendars around. I like this one from Coffee Cups and Crayons .

Children love being part of nature and helping to take care of the animals. 

Simple peanut butter and birdseed feeders are great projects to hang around the house and parks or the church yard. 

Donating to the local Animal Shelters is another great kid service project. Contact you local shelter to see what the need is. 

No slip socks are great gifts for our friends that are in Nursing Homes and Assisted Living facilities.

Puffy paint and low cut socks  are all you need for this simple but meaningful project. 

Treats for neighbors and community helpers . Mail carries love to get surprises in the mail. 

Visit this site for this free printable to use.

Show those that serve and protect us just how grateful we are. 

Here is the link for this project.

Caroling! "The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to here!" A quote from Buddy the Elf.

Find out if your church youth group goes caroling. Organize a neighborhood caroling walking trip. 

Have a Mingle and Jingle party at your home , offering hot cocoa, cider and gathering to sing - a - long with favorite recorded Christmas carols and songs.

Let your light shine so people everywhere may see your good deeds and praise God in heaven because of it. Read more from Matthew 5:14-16

Visit our Pinterest Advent board here for more activities, crafts and projects.